Burrrrp!

Pardon me! I know that I have not written for a while. Here's my 'scuse. Well, I can't believe that I ate the whole chocolate MiniCooper. Sorry, Ah-Me.

I passed out from a chocolate high and woke up in a puddle of chocolate in an alleyway adjoining St. Godiva's Church in Hershey Pennsylvania. All I know is that I had chocolate all over my hands and a big ring of chocolate around my mouth.

Since that time, I have been drying out in an isolation ward and attending regular meetings of Chocolatics Unanimous. "Hello, I am HarleyDad and I have a chocolate problem."

Finally, I took the Adkins Pledge and plan on eschewing chocolate instead of chewing chocolate. I can stay away from carbohydrates one day at a time. Yes, I can, I know I can. The chocolate demons have been exorcised. The doctor told me at the clinic that I must maintain a regimine of exorcise or was it exercise. Oh well, I guess I will do both. He said something about that if you fall back into your sins, you will be attacked by seven more chocolate demons, all more fierce than the first and you will become seven times as fat.

In addition, I am going to the dentist today and having my sweet tooth extracted.

I have declared my independence from the Swiss Chocolateers. Although I am now indebted to the Swiss makers of cheese, keeping in mind that swiss cheese is always holier than our cheese.

Well, you can just call me Brocholi Boy now. Evidently that is all that you can eat on the Atkins diet. Then there is all the meat. Further I am instructed by the Chocolate Unanimous Group not to drive within two miles of a Cold Stone Creamery or a Marble Slab Ice Cream Store. Evidently autos driven by addicts are known to turn into these places despite the best efforts of the drivers, and you are hooked again.

Further, no eating your vehicles or chocolate MiniCoopers.

Well, see ya in meat purgatory.

HarleyDad