Birds of a Feather

At first it seemed like a good idea. Why not send some special gifts to some of the officers where HarleyDad worked. After all, that is what the ‘big boys” do. So HarleyDad and Brokerbelle ordered ten turkeys of which a number were to be sent to some of the company’s executives for Christmas.

After all, what better way to give some executives the bird, and hopefully not get into trouble in the process.

HarleyDad and Brokerbelle contacted Verdeberg Turkeys in Turkeytown Texas. Verdeberg was known to have some of the best smoked turkeys in Texas. So orders were made and Verdeberg accepted the orders noting that if they could not deliver by Christmas that they would not accept the order. The orders were accepted.

Verdeberg recently sent the bill and we noted from the bill that the Turkeys were sent late—in January. Now in Harleydad’s view, nothing is worse than a late Turkey. (Most turkeys agree with this I might add). Instead of giving thanks for thoughtful employees like HarleyDad as the executives sat down for their Christmas feast, the same executives had to sit down to an empty plate . No gift from HarleyDad this year they probably thought. Another year when the stocking is empty.

Now it is bad enough to give the bird to the boss-but it is even worse if the bird is late for Christmas dinner. This adds injury to insult.

Did Verdeberg tell us that they had failed to send the order on time. Not on your life. They hid the information in their bill. Was there a late discount? No, of course not. An apology? No. An explanation. You got to be kidding.

So when the turkeys finally landed in January on the executives doorsteps, the executives began to wonder why HarleyDad would send them a turkey in January and what was he really trying to say.

Let’s see what our alternatives are:

HarleyDad is ungrateful. He did not send even a simple Christmas gift.
HarleyDad is uncaring. Look at all we did for him. That turkey!
HarleyDad is stupid. He does not even know when Christmas is. He thinks it is in January.
HarleyDad is dilatory. He never gets anything done on time.

Well thanks Verdeberg. Your delay transforms HarleyDad into the turkey. Gobble! No good deed goes unpunished.

So I reproduce Brokerbelle’s letter of complaint to Verdeberg:

“WHY did you not notify us you could not fill our Christmas gift list until January?

WHY did you even ship a turkey ordered as a Christmas gift AFTER Christmas?

WHY did you pick us for your error…passing it off to our recipients as though it were ours?

The very best turkey that is delivered too late is not worth sending

P.S. The payment you have requested will be shipped on or about_______________?2005.”

Now that Brokerbelle sure knows how to write a letter.

Now I should have known that Verdeberg would do something like this. A number of years ago another executive ordered a bunch of Christmas turkeys for his compadres through his secretary. Verdeberg got all the orders on time with a notation that all the company people got the turkeys in the name of the executive’s secretary. Of course, we all thanked her even though the executive paid the bill and had requested that the turkeys be sent in his name. VERDEBERG STRIKES AGAIN!!!!

Next year, we are giving Verdeberg the ax instead of the turkeys.

Perhaps next Christmas we will try Virginia hams.