Bambi's Revenge

Now it is pretty well admitted by all that there is an animal conspiracy in the 4 State Area here in Ozarklandia.

The conspiracy is led by deer. We have a number of cells of them that meet regularly. They may or may not be of the Islamic persuasion. What we do know is that they have declared war upon the non-deer infidels of Ozarklandia . From time to time they are seen in small groups often in the early morning or early evening plotting their evil devices. Events have made it clear that they plot Jihad and are willing to die to carry out their nefarious purposes.

Unfortunately these horned extremists believe that all Ozarklandian drivers are sons and daughters of the Great Satan and have spent years oppressing them-often striking them with the mechanical tools of our modern culture such as the automobile. A great call went out from the great deer leader Osama Ben Deer to rise up and throw out the drivers from the Greater Ozarklandia area.

One morning a few years ago HarleyDad and the Green Prince were attacked by one of the member of the Intifada Deer Movement. The attacking deer had masked his attack by masquerading as Bambi and had infiltrated the City Limits of our fair city.

HarleyDad was taking the Green Prince to work in the MR-2. It was 6 a.m. in the morning when good deer should still be in bed. As Harley Dad turns down Zora (a cross street well into the City Limits) a deer with explosives hooked to its underbelly leaps in front of HarleyDad's Auto and wipes it out. Another kamikaze attack by the radical deer faction. The car was totaled and HarleyDad and the Green Prince barely escape with their lives.

Regular deer attacks often take place by these extremists in the area near where HarleyDad works. A number of the employees have been victimized by these horrible attacks as well.

In fact one of the friends of HarleyDad was attacked by one of the extremist deer even as he rode his motorcycle. Now how low can you go!

So war it is! A number of the area residents have armed themselves with whatever they have at hand-be it rifles or bows. They have taken a vow to hunt these extremists down and cause them to pay for the evil they have inflicted upon our friends and neighbors in Outer Ozarklandia. Often their rifles can be seen in the back of their pick up trucks and four wheelers as they valiantly take up the fight against the Deer Jihad. The deer can run but they can not hide. We will find them and hunt them down.

The deer have tried to take the war to us by attacking HarleyDad and others in the City-but we shall take the war to them.

HarleyDad