An Apology for Sleeping in Church-Part 1

To sleep, to dream, perchance.

HarleyDad has a God given gift. It is to sleep. It all began as a baby when I had what my parents called gasoline cholic. I could not go to sleep at night unless my parents took me for a ride in the car. Then off to beddy time I would go. Now as a sometimes adult I find I have the ability to go to sleep in cars, trains and automobiles. I generally try not to be driving when this happens. After a few yawns from HarleyDad, Brokerbelle begins to look nervous. She takes over driving the vehicle and off to slumber time HarleyDad goes. My finest hours are when I am asleep in the car.

There is one other place that I love to sleep. It is in church. The rumor is that HarleyDad sometimes attends church at St. Mattress of the Springs.

Now the general wisdom is that you should not go to sleep in church. This is generally a myth propagated by preachers, ministers and other men and women of the cloth. After all if HarleyDad goes to sleep in church, then others may soon follow his leadership. There is nothing like a minister pounding on the pulpit and a HarleyDad asleep like a baby in the third row to cause the minister not to be taken seriously. Who knows where it may lead. Pretty soon everyone will be sleeping in church. Those trying to listen to the pastoral wisdom will not be able to because of the loud snoring. Further snoring may be confused in some charismatic churches with speaking in tongues; but then those people trying to interpret the tongues get all confused. For this reason many churches refuse to classify sleeping as one of the spiritual gifts.

Nonetheless, HarleyDad has found sleeping in church to be the peaceful gift. It causes no harm. It is not disputatious. It accepth all.

However, it is a well known fact, that when the offering is taken, those who sleep do not contribute. This could spell disaster for the financing of the modern church.

Then there is the falling off the chair syndrome. Pretty soon if you are asleep you fall off the chair and hit the floor. Now if you are in a Pentecostal church they may think you are being slain in the Spirit. If you are in a more traditional church they may wonder if you are drunk and question why you are lying in the aisle. To say the least to have some one rolling around the aisles of the church is very disconcerting and may cause the church to loose its reputation due to the fact that there are “holy rollers.”

Sleeping in church is also considered to be in bad form because it suggests that the sleeper has been frequenting bars all night. This however is manifestly unfair and those who sleep in churches are often victims of the sermon as opposed to being victims of drink. In short, pastors have them selves to blame. Well, may be not. I guess if you are sound a sleep, you can sleep even though a good sermon although a good sermon might cause you not to go to sleep in the first place.

For those unable to come up with good sermons, simply shouting at the sheep generally will work. If that doesn’t work, they might try something like” “Brother HarleyDad are you sleeping?” When HarleyDad does not respond appropriately, they can say “Brokerbelle, is your husband HarleyDad asleep?” At which time Brokerbelle or Princessbelle jabs HarleyDad sharply in the ribs and HarleyDad replies: “Huh, where am I-Oh you mean the sermon isn’t over yet.”

Pastors will point to a number of good reasons why you should not enjoy a good nights sleep in the middle of their messages. The first story they like to tell is the story of Eutychus. The Scripture goes like this beginning in Acts 20:

v.7 On the first day of the week, when we were gathered together to break bread, Paul began talking to them, intending to leave the next day, and he prolonged his message until midnight.
v.8 There were many lamps in the upper room where we were gathered together.
v.9 And there was a young man sitting on the window sill, sinking into a deep sleep; and as Paul kept on talking, he was overcome by sleep and fell down from the third floor and was picked up dead.
v.10 But Paul went down and fell upon him, and after embracing him, Do not be troubled for his life is in him.
v.11 When he had gone back up and had broken bread and eaten, he talked with them a long time until daybreak, and then left.
v.12 They took away the boy alive, and were greatly comforted.

According to the Pastors, Ministers and Priests, the lesson is simple: Fall asleep and you are dead meat.

However HarleyDad takes a closer look at Scripture and here are my conclusions:

The issue is where do you go to sleep. Never sleep on a window three stories up. It is simply too far to fall. Go to sleep under your chair or crawl under the pew. In either case it is closer to the ground and less dangerous.
Paul healed the sleeper. So no harm –no foul. This illustrates that God is full of grace and his mercies extend to those who sleep
Third, the only person that got embraced by Paul was Eutychus. God loves a good sleeper and so did Paul.
A good sleeper will not interrupt a good preacher even if he dies on the spot.
A good sleeper will not even slow a good preacher down. Paul healed him, had a snack, and preached on to day light.

Back in those days, they really knew how to preach. No more Mr. Nice Preacher that lets out on time for Sunday lunch. Paul just kept on going. At midnight he was preaching. When morning came he was preaching. He was like that pink bunny that beats the drum-he just a kept on going. So good sleepin’ does not get in the way of good preachin’.

So I end with the prayer of Eutychus:

Now I go to church as a sheep
Help me during the service well to sleep
And I pray that I my not learch
And fall to the floor from my pearch.
And if I fall upon my face.
A good minister will me embrace.

Amen.

HarleyDad will deal with more Scriptures regarding Sleeping in Church in the near future.