First Born

It seems that my character has been heavily influenced by being the first born.

God loves first borns. God also loves middle borns and youngest children.

First borns have not always been good. For instance, Cain, who killed his brother Abel, was a first born. Likewise God has used only children and youngest children as well. King David was the youngest child in his family. Also, it is written that God preferred Jacob, the second born, over Esau, the first born.

In short, when we have the opportunity to be a member of the family of God, it is almost as if we were an only child, even though that is far from the case. We have the full attention of God and we have the rights of a full and complete inheritance. We have full and complete rights to the kingdom of God.

Now back to being a first born. As a first born, generally your time as the baby of the family is restricted. At an early age you are expected to begin to take on the responsibilities of being a caregiver and a protector of others. You feel and sense responsibility. As you go through life, this responsibility manifests itself in many ways. You feel responsible for your spouse, for making a living, for your children, and for those who work for you. You even feel responsible for those who do not even particularly want you to be responsible for them.

Sometimes in families, roles become confused. A wife, who is the eldest child and who works, may feel responsible for her husband, who was the youngest child in his family.

In our family, we have had some surprising role switches occurring among the members. Here are two.Brokerbelle was the middle child in her family. But for whatever reason, perhaps the birth of a sister some years younger, she transformed into the responsible oldest child. She assumed the role of the first born. She tells the story about how her mother did not allow her older brother to fight. One day, three bullies came into the yard to pick on her brother who was several years older than she was. Brokerbelle grabbed a switch and began to attack the three bullies and scaring them off and protecting her older brother. She was 6 and he was 9. Brokerbelle somehow assumed the mantle of the first born, protecting the other brothers and sisters. The middle born was transformed into the the first born.

Among my own children there was a role reversal. Our first born male was the Emerald Prince. However, due to the fact that the Emerald Prince was captured by drugs and forced into becoming the Frog Prince, his younger brother Sparkie was forced to assume the role of the elder brother and the first born. This role reversal was pointed out to us as the family went through counseling in order to try to prevent the drug situation from worsening, and the total destruction of our immediate family. Fortunately, the family was not destroyed-but we all share deep scars from the experience. But Christ, our Lord, has scars, and I believe He somehow understands our scars.

Sparkie had assumed the role of the older brother and the first born. When we adopted our granddaughter, who has lived with us since she was six months old and who is truly, truly our daughter, Sparkie became the third parent. He was thirteen when we got Princessbelle. He helped us raise her during her younger years. He loved her and protected her. She loved him and still loves him greatly. She also greatly loves the Emerald Prince.

One of the things we have learned is that love is not always exclusive. Just because we love one child, it does not mean that we can not love our other children just as greatly.

The ImpQueen is our true first born. Like all first borns, she lives with a sense of responsibility and a desire to protect her family.

So, HarleyDad is a first born by birth, Brokerbelle is a first born by choice, and Sparkie is a first born because of a drug problem with the firstborn male, and the Impqueen is our true first born. All of us live with the burdens of providing and protecting. This sense of responsibility is deeply engrained in our lives and in our actions.We even assess others by whether they are carrying out the responsibilities of protection and supply-even when we should not. We need God's help to rise past these type of judgments.


There are basic things in our lives, that through hidden, propel us through life and that frame how we see things and how we see others. God grant that somehow, we will rise above this way of seeing and assessing.

In addition, as most parents ultimately learn, there comes a time that they can not protect. I can not protect my child who is in prison. I am unable to protect my oldest daughter from every evil. I can not protect my son who is in the military. I am a protector with only limited ability to protect; a provider who has only a limited ability to provide.So, I pray for my children daily. Brokerbelle and I pray that God will protect them and will supply their needs.

As for ourselves, Brokerbelle and I live with an unease, that we have not been able to do enough-but then we are the first born.

HarleyDad