What You See Ain't What You Get

That’s right. Things have changed. What you see ain’t what you get. Appearances are deceiving. That “sweet young thing” shown in People Magazine has had had a breast implant, her teeth straighten, and wears colored contacts. She has had liposuction, wrinkles removed, a tummy staple, a nose job and who knows what else.

Schock Jock, Howard Stern, awards paid breast implants to those lucky strippers that he interviews. You might say he awards “bobbie prizes” to his guests.

And hey we are not just talking about the women. The guys have been sectioned and parted as well. That poor bald head has had a new rug weaved on it and he has a new nose job to boot.

Desirability and sexuality is the name of the game. Medicine is so far along that if you don’t like your sex, change it.

Now I grew up in New Orleans. And so I saw a lot of things. There were places filled with female impersonators and we had “bird cages” all about. I heard stories of some of our football players who went out on dates and were they surprised that the girls they picked up in downtown New Orleans were not always girls. And Rue Paul in those days was as common as the girl next door.

So things are not always what they seem at first blush. And believe me we should blush plenty these days.

We can change the parts of our bodies like parting an old Chevy. If you don’t like it, change it. If it doesn’t work well enough, then enhance it or supersize it. We advertise, male enhancements on T.V. I wonder who ever wrote those ads. What a stroke of genius. Take the advertised medication and if you get so enhanced that if you can’t get unenhanced, contact a doctor immediately.

Millions of men watching the ad are thinking, wow, maybe that will happen to me. Millions of women watching the ad are thinking, Wow, I hope that doesn’t happen to him! The attorney who reviewed the ad must have laughed himself or herself silly. The FTC probably looks at those commercials finds itself impotent to say anything at all. Meanwhile I keep trying to figure out how they got those “his and her” bathtubs to overlook the vineyard and sunset. If I tried that in my backyard we would get arrested. And maybe you have to carry the hot water to them in buckets. But hey, you are ready anytime, anywhere in your twin small bathtubs.

Imagine if the people of ancient times or even recent times had our medical technology. Perhaps Socrates would get a tummy tuck. Jesus might have gotten his teeth fixed and Ghandi could have gotten a hair transplant. Wow, I bet they would have been happier people. At least Xantippe, the wife of Socrates, might have been happier knowing that her man had six pack abs.

After all it is not who are in the inside, but what we look like on the outside. That is what the media implies and it appears that many are in agreement.

Perhaps there are few of us around that still believe that what you are on the inside still matters more than what you are on the outside and that you can only shore up the leaky dam for so long.