Political Incorrectness

Politically Incorrect

I was discussing politically incorrect language with the distaff attorney next door, Ms. Windex. Really, I suspect that she is Mrs. Windex since I know her husband; however political correctness demands that I call her Ms. Windex. And Ms. Windex is not even liberal having taken her husband’s last name and not even hyphenating it to her maiden name Thickelthump which would have made her Ms. Thickelthump-Windex. I just call her Windex.

Windex, at my request, looked over my report to the Board of Directors and corrected to my reference to the Committee Chairwoman to the Committee Chair. So I found out to my surprise that the head of the Audit Committee, Mrs. Smith (sorry, Ms. Smith) was referred to as the Committee Chairperson or the Committee Chair. So that is how I learned that Ms. Smith is really a chair-not a chairwoman.

And thus did my lesson in political correctness begin. Windex then began to tutor me on political correctness. There are no actors and actresses anymore only actors (which now can be only male or female) . Oops sorry, they can be male, female or transgender.

Negroes died out long ago. They morphed into blacks and then into African Americans or was it other way around. The “N” word can only be used by someone of that hue in referencing to someone else of that hue in “Home” speak, which language I am not permitted to use.

And then there is the fact that my pet goose is named “Honkey.” Everybody looks at me funny (i.e. peculiarly) noting that the goose is after all a Canadian goose as opposed to an Artic White goose.

There are no deaf or dumb or blind any more. The deaf are hearing impaired, the blind are visually challenged and no one is dumb. There are only the mute. However, I apparently qualify as being dumb by being politically incorrect, which is now means intellectually challenged (which I think means “stupid”) as opposed to mute.

We need a George Bush for the politically incorrect. (Oops, I think we actually have one who will make sure that “No politically incorrect person will be left behind.”)

No longer are there homosexuals; who now apparently have all become gay, happy and well adjusted.

And so the language of my youth have fallen down the well of politically incorrectness and have been relegated to the hades of our forefathers containing such evils as “Amos and Andy”, “Enny, Minnie, Minnie Moe,” “Little African American Sambo” and Black Porch Jockies. Someday, history might even do the same to the Chappelle show.

My youth was misspent by playing “Cowboys and Indians.” (Oops, I mean “Cowboys and Native Americans”—Oops again -I meant “Cowpersons and Native Americans”) I also spent my time playing “Superman, Batman and Aquaman” – Oops- I mean “Superperson, Batperson and Aquaperson.” It is obvious, that all this is very confusing to me having spent a politically incorrect youth.

Intriguingly, Christ and Christianity was ahead of its time. Paul wrote that in Christ there was no slave nor free, but that all were brothers. Women had a high role in church history and the role of Mary elevated the view of women. Paul also wrote that there was no male or female in Christ.

And so slowly my education into political correctness continued.

After my conversation with Windex, I discussed these things with my wife- you know, the fact that Chairmen and Chairwomen were out and Chairs were in (And I foolish thought that chairs were something you sat upon.) We noted that Actors were in and Actresses were out. The term “doctors” refer both to men and to women physicians. The term “lawyers” refer both to male and female attorneys.

And so demonstrating my political correctness, I asked Brokerbelle, “Well what about hairdressers, aren’t most of them gay.

Brokerbelle responded: “Only the good ones.”

Evidently the old (oops, aged, or youth handicapped) die out because they can no longer adapted. It looks like HarleyDad is heading for elephant graveyard of political incorrectness.

Wanting to avoid becoming extinct, I quickly ran to the internet and located some resources that might help me and I will link you to a few.


A politically incorrect dictionary--http://www.newspeakdictionary.com/ns-pi.html

The Urban Dictionary--http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=politically+correct

The Official Politically Correct Dictionary--http://www.amazon.com/Official-Politically-Correct-Dictionary-Handbook/dp/0679749446

So all you have to do is copy and paste any of these links and you are on your way to “political correctness.” No longer will you be laughed at for using the term midget when you can use the terms “little people” or “vertically challenged.”

Bon Voyage!

H.D.