Sparkie and the Raku Pots

Sparkie is a Raku warrior.

Currently he is stationed at Fort Swampy in Coonass County. Before he became a warrior, Sparkie was a clown, a magician, a scuba instructor and an artist. Somewhere in there we think he went to school-but can never be quite sure because he found some way to have his grades sent somewhere else other than to his home. (That is why the military trained him for its supersecret stuff like propaganda and disinformation). Along the way, Sparkie found the Beautiful Bardot who was also a talented artist.

As a trained and skilled warrior who hands are licensed to kill or to pot, the U.S. military has found a use for Sparkie. When they first noticed his talent, they initially trained him to design Challenge Medals-whatever that is.

Then they moved him up to a year or two of specialized training. They made him learn French, and how to cook American fries. They exposed him to the nuances of the famous army cuisine for the enlightened pallette. Then there was the military courses in recognition of fine wines and world beers generally conducted in dark corners of strange places in off hours.

He also was exposed to advance courses related to the choice of easels, paint consistencies, paint removal, military designs and tatoos. He learned to curse in French and was trained by Military Intelligence to infiltrate coffee houses and to claim that he was a graduate of the Sorbonne and to pretend to the smoke French cigarettes such as Gittanes (that is OK, he told us he did not really inhale-but this, however, is not the first smoke that Sparkie has blown at us).

It is apparent that our country has no greater enemy than the French, who are under the mistaken illusion that their food, wine and women are better than those of the good old U.S.A.

They are also known for harboring terrorists like Jacques Custeau and the silent Marcel Marceau. They are also know for causing our culture to degenerate through people like Voltaire, Degas, Rhodan, all the evil French impressionist, like Manet and Monet, that are just too numerous to mention.

In the meantime, Sparkie's artistic talents were put to use while he was being trained to fight the French. (We will fight them in the restaurants, in the French cafes, and in every place that Pan is sold. We fight them in Napa Valley or in any place that they challenge our wines. They will not infiltrate our clothing designs or haute culture.) We may even send the Statue of Liberty back to the French, who knows. And then there are those horrible little Peugots.

So Sparkie next received training in painting camoflage, utilizing his skills with beautiful greens, grays and browns. He also is good with covers, nets, and utilizing plants in disquise. (They taught him not to use poison ivy or poison oak and to stay away from marijuana and other plants and herbs that ex-hippies or modern herbal healers may try to pick.) His training in magic is useful in the military as well. As a camo expert, he must make things including himself disappear. I am told that he is especially good at it if there is an assignment that he does not want to do. He is so good that his compadres call him "The Chamelian." Sparkie loves painting camo.

The military has also trained him in secret communications made out of what appears to be innocent house hold items: two cans and a string. Then there are the secret codes and languages. He tried one of them on HarleyDad and I could not understand him. He kept calling me "Arleyhay Adday." Oh well, that's the military for you. I keep asking him questions about what he is doing and Sparkie keeps answering: "I can tell you but then I would have to kill you." Interestingly enough, those are the same answers I got from Sparkie when he was a teenager. In fact getting any information from Sparkie is almost impossible. He keeps mumbling his name, rank and serial number. I guess they have trained him pretty well.

HarleyDad has learned that Sparkie really was a good artist and a fierce Raku warrior. Sparkie was so good at pots that he may have had to enter the military because he got in trouble throwing pots for others in his art class. (Sparkie got into art because he wanted to do ice sculptures in advance of entering the French Culinary Institute-who knows Sparkie, the military may give you knife training in the Anarctic yet).

Wow, what has our society come to that we would stoop so low as to throw pots for others. In an act of charity (or perhaps for a few shekels) he would throw pots for the artistically challenged. Well, that is Sparkie for you, always helping those who were challenged in some way or another or need help.

Now the Beautiful Bardot is also an artist and she is now Mrs. Sparkie. He drawings are wonderful. She could also be an interior decorator if she ever wanted to. On Sparkies military wage (all the hardtak and SOS that you can eat) she has turned their house into a palace of good taste. (The French visitors feel very comfortable there with all the excellent food, good taste and art-They think they are back on the Isle de France or Martinique or whereever they come from.) And besides Bardot is Bardot and she is beautiful and you know how the French are-they are very accepting if you are beautiful. But the beautiful Bardot makes me digress.

Brokerbelle has presented to HarleyDad definitive proof that Sparkie is a Raku Warrior. Brokerbelle went to an expensive store at a high falootin Hotel by the Lake called the Chateau. At the Chateau's mucho expensive shop, she purchased two Raku Pots. One cost $80 and one cost $60. Now Brokerbelle and HarleyDad love Raku. And I can absolutely guarantee you that these will only be the first of many beautiful Raku pots that we will purchase and leave to our children (whatever did they leave for us?). HarleyDad put these pots up against a pot done by Sparkie and Sparkie's looked pretty good especially since he was just beginning his experimentation on Raku glases. Some of the pictures of Sparkies pots are posted above.

Well Sparkie, HarleyDad and Brokerbelle stand squarely behind you as you prepare yourself to infiltrate the French. Continue to read Le Monde and listen to Edit Piaf. Keep up the Pantomine practices with Bardot. Perhaps someday you can exhibit your fierce Raku prowess once again.

HarleyDad